Urban Assault randomness

Urban Assault has a very interesting plotline, but it is usually hidden from the players. Discuss the rich story of UA here, or write your own fan fiction and display it here!
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HeavyMetal
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Urban Assault randomness

Post by HeavyMetal » Fri Aug 16, 2013 6:06 am

AIs say the darnest things.

Being a unit is hard but being a Host Station is harder. It’s one of those moments in the heat of battle you can’t help overhear some chatter coming from those AIs.

“I would be your daddy but the Host Station said it was impossible, you’re a Ying and I’m a Yang.” –Random Ghorkov message-

“It is just me or does everyone move fast?” –Zac the zeppelin-

“I was spitting out shells before any of you were plasma forms. I should know since I was there during the Food Wars.” –Troyka the Tek Trahk-

“Did you feel that?”
“Nope, didn’t feel a thing” –Two Leonids in battle-

“I remember he went so fast he catapulted off another Speedy and was lodged head first into the Mothership. Man that Skorpio was pissed…” –Random Ghorkov message-

“I don’t remember SDU 5 all that well but SDU 6…man, talk about anger management.” –Fox unit 127-

“Is it just me or does this armor make me look fat?” -Tiger unit 82
-
“All I know is when I flew into the sector some speedy shot me in the butt! When he gets back to base he’s got a pulse blast coming to him…” –Gigant 21-

“Those blue spores are so pretty but you’ll have a sore circuit board in the morning.”
“ Dude I had no idea you rolled that way…” –Jaguar 901 and Weasel 560-

“This is gonna hurt me more than it'll hurt you.” –Random Serp message-

“Humans, it does the planet bad” –Random Mykonian message-

“I am green with envy then again so is all other Sulgogars” –Jimmy the Slime Lord-

“You hear that?”
“ Yeah, Leonids.”
“ Let’s go Leonid tipping after this offensive.” –2 Eisenhans-

“Your Host Station is sooo fat it stopped up the Parasite.”
“Oh yeah? Well your Host Station is sooo fat even the Beam Gate is like ‘beam gate full!’” –A speedy and A fox telling ‘yo host station is so fat’ jokes-

“I’m told I have a short fuse” –Rock Sled 64-

“You know that “other Gigant” you were hitting on earlier is our old Host Station?” -2 Gigants-

“Only a helicopter would give me a headache this big…”
“That’s what she said!” –Random Leonid and Eisenhan message-

“Ok can we all agree that Stoudson bomb sectors belongs to the blue team right?” –Random Resistance message-

“Can those Zeppelins go faster? I have to recharge…” –Random Taerkast message-

“Those scouts are high.”
“They sure are.”
“Why don’t they come down?”
“Because they hate you” –Random Ying and Speedy message-

“I don’t always need a recharge but when I do a prefer Kraftwerks. Stay thirsty my friends” –Darius the Tiger tank-
"What did I get when I joined the Taerkast? Oh right, floating fortresses and flying ion cannons, yeah there's nothing Amish about that..." -HeavyMetal-

"Steampunk is like Lincoln with a gattling gun for an arm and steam driven Star Destroyers."

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Re: Urban Assault randomness

Post by Ormu » Fri Aug 16, 2013 4:27 pm

Don't ask why but this made me smile. :D
HeavyMetal wrote: “Those blue spores are so pretty but you’ll have a sore circuit board in the morning.”
“ Dude I had no idea you rolled that way…” –Jaguar 901 and Weasel 560-
Image
Matthew Lever wrote:Take out Ormus as soon as you see them.
UA community Discord channel: https://discord.gg/7H4dFQH
Not all Ormus are mine. When in doubt, please ask...

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Thomas Fredson
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Re: Urban Assault randomness

Post by Thomas Fredson » Fri Aug 16, 2013 6:43 pm

That "yo host station is so fat jokes" kept make me laughing for 5 good minutes! Good job! ;)
://i529.photobucket.com/albums/dd333/pete_kaboom/MykoniansUB1.png[/img]
://i529.photobucket.com/albums/dd333/pete_kaboom/MykoniansUB2.png[/img]
://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t318/Al-Khabir/UrbanAssaultSig4.gif[/img]

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Brachy UA FREAK
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Re: Urban Assault randomness

Post by Brachy UA FREAK » Fri Sep 06, 2013 12:38 pm

Well pretty neat.
Let continue this posting:

" I'm gonna go highspeed now" Static on topside of a cliff.

" Fuc-king, bullshit flat crap shit" Quadda trying to capture sectors.

" These Airprisms get more random everyday... Yesterday one flew over me singing: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Tiger in north europe

" Stop rotating... or you'll be pinned on these needles" 2 Mykonian hostations hanging around

Whats the last thing the Quadda saw? A Serp
Whats the last thing the Airprism saw? A Serp
What the last thing a Bomber saw? A Serp
What's the last thing the Airstick saw? A Serp
What's the last thing the Groundcube saw?


Nothing they don't get produced.


"You look a bit green... you sure you are not sick?" Blue Spore to Meangreen
GET YOUR HANDS OFF FROM THAT PARASITE!
Or
I LL QUADDA YOU

://i529.photobucket.com/albums/dd333/pete_kaboom/MykoniansUB1.png
://i529.photobucket.com/albums/dd333/pete_kaboom/X01-Quadda.gif

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Re: Urban Assault randomness

Post by HeavyMetal » Sat Sep 14, 2013 10:16 am

Brachy UA FREAK wrote:Well pretty neat.
Let continue this posting:

" I'm gonna go highspeed now" Static on topside of a cliff.

" Fuc-king, bullshit flat crap shit" Quadda trying to capture sectors.

" These Airprisms get more random everyday... Yesterday one flew over me singing: weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" Tiger in north europe

" Stop rotating... or you'll be pinned on these needles" 2 Mykonian hostations hanging around

Whats the last thing the Quadda saw? A Serp
Whats the last thing the Airprism saw? A Serp
What the last thing a Bomber saw? A Serp
What's the last thing the Airstick saw? A Serp
What's the last thing the Groundcube saw?


Nothing they don't get produced.


"You look a bit green... you sure you are not sick?" Blue Spore to Meangreen
Hah, those are pretty good. Especially that last one.

For everyone else feel free to submit your own "UA Randomness" don't expect me to have all the jokes. (Honestly I'm not that good) :oops:
"What did I get when I joined the Taerkast? Oh right, floating fortresses and flying ion cannons, yeah there's nothing Amish about that..." -HeavyMetal-

"Steampunk is like Lincoln with a gattling gun for an arm and steam driven Star Destroyers."

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Re: Urban Assault randomness

Post by Brachy UA FREAK » Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:17 am

" And my missles locked up on that scout yesterday. Dman those pesky Ormu's..."
" And did you hit it?"
" Ye gave me the credit an hour ago"
2 warhammers talking.


"Stop sniffing Rihno missles, its bad for your health....

...Zeppelins never learn"
GET YOUR HANDS OFF FROM THAT PARASITE!
Or
I LL QUADDA YOU

://i529.photobucket.com/albums/dd333/pete_kaboom/MykoniansUB1.png
://i529.photobucket.com/albums/dd333/pete_kaboom/X01-Quadda.gif

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Re: Urban Assault randomness

Post by Aakkonen » Sat Mar 29, 2014 2:23 pm

" Hear that creeking noise?"
" Yah, Leonids."
" I wonder when they learn that we beamed our HS other side of plateu about a week ago.."
2 scouts to each other
The humanitys destiny is determined.

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